you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
