More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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