i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
