Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize