I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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