Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Sorry my hands just texted you
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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