yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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