So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
