I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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