my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
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