last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Boobs speak an international language.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
