did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
