oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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