So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Randomize
