he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
