don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Nobody cheats on THIS.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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