Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
