Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement 😭😂
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
