no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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