At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Randomize
