I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
