I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
