5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Randomize