If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I think I sprained my soul last night
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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