addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
