I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
