i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
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