its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Im part way to drunk.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
