she was so not down for the gang bang
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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