Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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