I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
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