Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I want to stick my p in your. b.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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