worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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