wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Randomize
