chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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