i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I have aggressive nipples.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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