I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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