Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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