shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Randomize
