Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
