I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I have so many feelings about this burrito
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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