And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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