just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I have feelings that need drinking.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Randomize
