every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
