think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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