Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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