can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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