I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
