I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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