The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
