Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
