Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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