O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
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