Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
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