Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
