im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
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His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
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True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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