So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
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Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
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It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize