so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
