i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
