I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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