I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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