so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Can you repeat that, but with context?
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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